For the ladies

[shepster]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided

to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he

shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the

washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma"

And they say blondes are dumb...

********

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to

make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."


********

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as

he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you

think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.


********
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing

board while I sit on the sofa and fart.


********

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.


********


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating
their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a
good fairy came to them and said that because they had
been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...




Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

********
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

********
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

********
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping

for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

********
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

********
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

********
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

********

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

[j30l]

[ultraviolet]

What does a man and a tiled floor have in common?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over 'em for life.

[kittens]

m xxx

[Briggsy]