The Ant and the Grasshopper

[Bunny]

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END.



THE BRITISH VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

So far, so good, eh?

Now read on......

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table laden with food.

The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.

The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to Hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.

The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).

The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing Operations and terrorize the community.

THE END .

[j30l]

:thumbsup!:

[dral]

Big tax bill today Lou?

[kittens]

Nice one Lou :-)

m xxx

So very very true Lou

Spot on and I think something along those lines every time I get a tax statement!

I've spent far too long in this country paying for the lazy thieving scum around me!!!! :twisted:

But that's a prime example how F**ked up the UK really is!!!

You've got me started now!!! :twisted:

This country is on its ass, take the NHS, I've payed all my life into that, and now they're closing down half the wards at our local university hospital, it isn't like the staff are over payed, well not the floor staff anyway. Incompetent management from the very top!!!! :twisted: Who wouldn't go private?

The pension scheme, well that's a f*ck up if ever there was one. I'm now paying for my Fathers retirement even though he payed in all of his working life. But it's ok, people will still be sucked in by Blairs cheesy pally pally grin and fat two jags two jags. Nice to know my tax is being well spent!!!!!! :twisted:

Time to leave this sh*t hole they call the UK me thinks!!!!

Get back to work. Slacker

[Tuppy]

too true the government in this country fooking stinks vive le revolution

Originally Posted by bazza

Get back to work. Slacker

:fu: me worky little time today!!! It's POETS day 8)

[Tommo]

Problem is we're in a country of goverment seat polishers, who need our taxs to pay for their useless existance. we take every rule the eu and any other fool comes up with, over exercise it in a true belts and braces fashion and leave us hard working people what crazy sh1t there going to come up with next. take from the hardworking and give to the scroungers thats all this country is about, we can see it the scroungers can see it but the people who could make a difference cant, fookin bull$hit, i'm off to Canada, toodaloo

Originally Posted by gimme6

i'm off to Canada, toodaloo

Good choice, my brother emigrated to Ottawa last year, he loves it!!! I'm not far behind him at this rate. Especially as I'm the last one out of my family left in this country!