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  #1  
Old 03-23-2006, 12:15 PM
j30l j30l is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: My car doesnt like me. Thats why it breaks all the time
Posts: 2,468
jokes

A new young monk arrives at the monastery and as with all new monks he
is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and
laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from
copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out
that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never
be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the
subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for
centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where
the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't
been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk
gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot
the "R"! "We forgot the "R"! "We forgot the "R"! "We forgot the "R"!
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying
uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong,
father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate!"


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A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and
there were only 3 survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre..........

They manage to swim to a small island.......
and they lived there for a couple of years............
doing what's natural for men and women to do.....
Afters several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt
absolutely horrible about what she had been doing...................

She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad
that she killed herself...............

It was very tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get
through it and, after a while nature once more took its inevitable
course..............

Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began
to feel absolutely horrible about what they where doing........

......... So.......
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..........They buried her


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention the condition to your wishes Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied,
That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine"
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!


:-)
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upgraded by myself and NR Autosport,
tuned by NR Autosport.
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  #2  
Old 03-23-2006, 12:49 PM
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  #3  
Old 03-23-2006, 01:03 PM
Jabberwocky Jabberwocky is offline
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How cool is that photo
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  #4  
Old 03-23-2006, 06:33 PM
Briggsy Briggsy is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: evo 1 GSR, a super Mk5 astra diesel flat out.
Posts: 4,221
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265 bhp 232 lb of torque......201.6 bhp atw....
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