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  #1  
Old 12-02-2005, 08:28 PM
Tommo Tommo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: a large wedge of passion into the passage of love.
Posts: 1,338
The Wife Translations Guide

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to

The wife says: I'm not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron

The wife says: You're... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.
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  #2  
Old 12-02-2005, 08:33 PM
Tuppy Tuppy is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: tommi mak no 2
Posts: 17,328
too true mate
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i give up fook it
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  #3  
Old 12-02-2005, 09:13 PM
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Class.. So true
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  #4  
Old 12-02-2005, 11:32 PM
Firestarter Firestarter is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Nissan Navara Outlaw DCi 204bhp
Posts: 4,960
Re: The Wife Translations Guide

Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme6
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to

The wife says: I'm not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron

The wife says: You're... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
problems at home?????
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  #5  
Old 12-03-2005, 12:43 AM
mad monk mad monk is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: JUN UK 6-5 TME no37 aka"the B Road Baptist"
Posts: 1,358
Its almost 16yrs since i last had a wife.In fact 16yrs exactly come the week between this xmas and new year and i can assure i wont be getting myself another one of those and yes before anyone else says it yes i am(a selfish ba$tard). Anyway from what i can remember that is a fairly good translation of a wife. Does anyone know what the true meaning of WIFE is ? for those of you who dont then here it is
W=Washing
I=Ironing
F=£ucking
E=Etcetera
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  #6  
Old 12-03-2005, 10:08 AM
Evo Baby Evo Baby is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Evo IV RS & Classic Scoob
Posts: 815
Oh come on...were not all that bad...






Just most of us..lol :muhaha:
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  #7  
Old 12-03-2005, 02:06 PM
Karl3 Karl3 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: dandilion yellow e3
Posts: 3,807
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fully forged bannana running 373bhp 346 torque at 1.26 bar..
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