Women - how their mind works

[user515]

:muhaha:

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit - demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed............................................... ..........................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...............-1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..................................-1
You leave the toilet seat up................................................ ..........-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.......................... 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex............-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.................-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings..............+5
in the snow.............................................. .....................................+8
but return with beer.............................................. ........................-5
and no liners............................................ ....................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night......................................+2
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing....................... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..................+5
You pummel it with a six iron.............................................. .......+10
It's her cat............................................... ..................................-50

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party............................................. ........... 0
You stay by her side for a while then go to chat with a friend from school.....-2
Named Tiffany........................................... .............................................-4
Tiffany is now a dancer............................................ ...............................-10
With breast implants.......................................... ....................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.......................................... ......... 0
You buy a card and flowers........................................... ......... 0
You take her out to dinner............................................ .......... 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar................+1
It is a sports bar............................................... ......................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night............................................. ....-3
And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.......-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

You go out with a pal.............................................. 0
The pal is happily married.......................................+1
The pal is single............................................ ............-7
He drives a Ferrari........................................... .......-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).......-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie............................................. ...+2
You take her to a movie she likes.................................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..................................+6
You take her to a movie you like.....................................-2
It's called Death Cop III............................................... .-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.......................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly............................................. .-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.......+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts..................-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..........................-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding........................................ .-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ..........-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"...........................-100
Any other response.......................................... ............-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression........................................ .................................................. .............0
You listen, for over 30 minutes........................................... .................................................. ................+10
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience........................................ ...............................................+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....................-100
You have fallen asleep............................................ .................................................. .......................................-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.......

You talk.............................................. ........-100
You don't talk.............................................-150
You spend time with her...............................-200
You don't spend time with her......................-500

[Tuppy]

excellent tm how true too

[JPO]

I gave up counting after -1,644.......

Originally Posted by just plain old

I gave up counting after -1,644.......

Originally Posted by just plain old

I gave up counting after -1,644.......

I gave up and got divorced after 3,999,881 :shock: :shock:

[kittens]

Originally Posted by whoosh

I gave up and got divorced after 3,999,881 :shock: :shock:

But now you have started again

Emma xxx

[RSE MOTORSPORT]

Originally Posted by kittens

But now you have started again

Emma xxx

:muhaha: :muhaha:

[Firestarter]

4 :???:

lmfao class leigh

bonjour .... i never cared

but @ least i bought her an iron , for valentine day ..

now thats what i call love ..

it was a steam iron ... with the dual dial ..