something to make you smile(well it is Friday)

[user779]

Mail sent out to the workers...

Dear Employees
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals within the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of Language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: "I think you could use more training." INSTEAD OF: "You don't know what the f___ you're doing do you?"

2) TRY SAYING: "She's an aggressive go-getter isn't she?" INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b___h."

3) TRY SAYING: "Perhaps I can work late." INSTEAD OF: "And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?"

4) TRY SAYING: "I'm certain that isn't feasible." INSTEAD OF: "No f_____'n way!"

5) TRY SAYING: "Really?" INSTEAD OF: "You've got to be sh__ing me!"

6) TRY SAYING: "Perhaps you should check with..." INSTEAD OF: "Tell someone who gives a sh__."

7) TRY SAYING: "I wasn't involved in that project." INSTEAD OF: "It's not my f______ problem."

8) TRY SAYING: "That's interesting." INSTEAD OF: "What the f___?"

9) TRY SAYING: "I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: "This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: "I'll try to schedule that in for you." INSTEAD OF: "Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?"

11) TRY SAYING: "He's not familiar with the issues." INSTEAD OF: "He's got his head up his a__."

12) TRY SAYING: "Excuse me, sir?" INSTEAD OF: "Eat sh__ and die."

13) TRY SAYING: "So you weren't happy with it?" INSTEAD OF: "Kiss my a__."

14) TRY SAYING: "I'm a bit overloaded at the moment." INSTEAD OF: "F___ off, I don't have time."

15) TRY SAYING: "I don't think you understand." INSTEAD OF: "Shove it up your a___."

16) TRY SAYING: "I love a good challenge." INSTEAD OF: "This job sucks!"

17) TRY SAYING: "You want me to take care of that do you?" INSTEAD OF: "Who the f___ died and made you boss?"

18) TRY SAYING: "He's somewhat insensitive." INSTEAD OF: "He's a pr_ck!"

Thank You,

The Management Team

[user745]

bitch