politics explained

Tuppy · #1 02-05-2005, 08:59 PM

a little boy goes to his dad and asks "what is politics"?

dad says "well son,let me explain it this way:im the bread winner of the family,so lets call me capitalism.your mum is the administrator of the money,so lets calll her the government.we're here to take care of your needs,so lets call you the people.the nanny we'll call her the working class.and your baby brother we'll call him the future.now,think about that and see if it makes sense'"

so the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.later that night,he hears his baby brother crying,so he gets up to check on him.he finds that his baby brother has severely soiled his nappy.so the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep.not wanting to wake her,he goes to the nannies room,finding the door locked,he peeps through the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny.he gives up and goes back to bed.the next morning,the little boy says to his father,"dad,i think i understand the concept of politics now". the father says,"good son,tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."the little boy replies,"well,while capitalism is screwing the working class,the government is sound asleep,the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

Tuppy · #2 02-05-2005, 09:09 PM

on christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at some traffic lights,and next to him is a little kid on a shiny new bicycle.the cop says to the kid,"nice bike you got there.did santa bring that for you?"

the kid replies "yeah."

the cop says,"well,next year tell him to put a tail light on that bike."

the cop then proceeds to give the kid a Ã‚Â£20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

the kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says,"by the way,thats a nice horse you got there.did santa bring that to you?"

humouring the,kid the cop says,"he sure did."

the kid continued,"well next year tell santa to put the dick underneath the horse,instead of on top."

Tuppy · #3 02-05-2005, 09:25 PM

did you hear about the guy on the beach who found a bottle?he rubbed it and, sure enough,out popped a genie.

"i will grant you three wishes,"said the genie."but theres a catch."

"what catch?"he asked

the genie replied,"every time you make a wish,every politician in the world will receive double what you asked for."

"well,i can live with that!no problem!" replied the elated man.

"what is your first wish?" asked the genie.

"well, i've always wanted a ferrari," said the man.

POOF a ferrari appeared in front of him.

"now,every politician in the world has two ferraris," said the genie."next wish."

"i'd love a million pounds," says the man.

POOF a million pounds lands at his feet.

"now,every politician in the world has two million pounds," said the genie.

"well,thats ok, as long as i've got my million," replied the man.

"what is your final wish?" said the genie.

the man thought long and hard, and finally said,"well,you know,i've always wanted to donate a kidney."