DIY Nightmare...

[user540]

Ok...

My 'track record' with DIY leaves a lot to be desired but I thought you might find this amusing...

My life and welcome to it...

After a protracted period Catherine finally moved out of my house and so I set about re-decorating, it is a good thing to make your mark in your home...

So things were going well and the main bedroom proceeding at a good pace and i decided to tackle the Bathroom, now I like the colour called 'Burnt Orange', I saw the colour in my minds eye and thought that with the new wall tiles [natural] and the rather 'swish' carpet [In a dark Orange colour] that this slightly lighter orange would look great... the only orange that 'fitted the bill' was one of those 'Natural' things... you know friends of the earth type sh!t, but it was the right colour so fvck it, I'll get some... £20 later and I am opening the tin here at home, the colour looks great and I start slapping away paint brush in hand like a gibbon with St Vitus' dance... it looks great... now, because this paint is from some tree-hugging son-of-a-bitch type company they don't make it waterproof, essential in a bathroom, we all p!ss on the walls... sometimes we don't even have to be drunk!, anyway as the vile hippy band decided that the additive is 'Not environmentally kind, man' I added a little PVA to the stuff, PVA is a sort of glue cum waterproofer type sh!t that would do the job nicely...

I had just finished putting on the last patch and was about to tie in the edges with a nifty bit of wrist action... [I'm crap at that but I like to 'big myself up' occasionally] when i realised that I had left the gloss brush on top of the gloss paint tin and needed some turps PDQ, so I got in the car and high-tailed it to B&Q a[ well known provendor of the stuff known as turps] I lingered a bit in the tools section, we all do it, its a sad thing but it is true, anyway an hour had elapsed and I thought I had better get back as having a stiff brush is not the done thing...

Up the stairs to the Bedroom and having sorted the brush...in plenty of time, I know my stuff! [another 'big up'... I decided to go and look in the bathroom at my latest 'creation'........... oh holy mother of christ crucified on a lolly-stick!!!!

The entire bathroom was now not the wonderful shade of Ornge that so gladdened my heart when I left but was, in fact, unquestionably, without doubt, most horribly and grossly PINK!!!

Pinker than the pinkest parts of an Albino slapper, I was stunned, this was no ordinary pink, this was the sort of pink that would allow Dame Barbara Cartland to effectively 'disappear' and the bloody room is only 10foot square.

It would appear that my 'great idea' of mixing the PVA with the 'tree-huggers' revenge backfired, but worse was to come, as I looked harder I realised that the damned stuf was not even uniform, it was starting to 'bleed' colour, and I stood horrified as the colours changed over the next 20 minutes into little fine lines of a slightly darker pink, it was turning right before my eyes into a painting of a set of fvcking PINK NET CURTAINS...

I now have what might possibly be the gayest bathroom ever, Dave Southend would swoon!!!

I have put a heater in the room in the hope that the bloody stuff will dry so I can paint over this awful spectacle, I'll probably set the godam house on fire but the colour HAS GOTTA GO!!!!

[bigred]

lets at least see a photo before you cover it up

[Tuppy]

feckin class v pinker than the pinkest parts of an albino slapper pmsl

Sorry sounds like something I'd do

[user540]

There will be no photos of my terrible error it would be tooooooooo embarrasing....

Hey!, shot off earlier and bought the 'underlay' and grippy-stick things [?] and just tacked them down and the carpet arrives tomoz... this DIY lark is a complete doddle! [apart from the colour thing]

This is the first time that I have ever decorated a complete room in my life and I dreaded starting it, however, started Saturday, damn near finished by Tuesday night...

I've got the bug now and there will be no stopping me... already started the hallway [upstairs] and seriously 'eyeing up' the lower hall... I am also seriously thinking of putting down this wooden floor stuff in the kitchen... the clay tile floor is fvcking cold in the winter...

[Tuppy]

if you get the locking laminate boards they are a piece of pi$$ mate

[user860]

Originally Posted by V-Bird

Hey!, shot off earlier and bought the 'underlay' and grippy-stick things [?] and just tacked them down and the carpet arrives tomoz

you will think so when you stand on the feckers later or in the morning when you are in a rush :shock:

[Tuppy]

feck that would turn your pink into blue with the expletives that would ensue

[user540]

Originally Posted by tuppy

if you get the locking laminate boards they are a piece of pi$$ mate

It's easy, yeah?

I didn't loiter when I spied the stuff [too long in the tools section ] but I am really sick of walking on cold tiles in the winter... it is looking good for a change...

[Tuppy]

absolute doddle matey me and a mate did a 12 ft square room in an hour